Stress of Life

I suppose its not so much stress that is getting to me as it is dissatisfaction with the activity (or lack thereof) and enjoyment in the activities in my life.  It is very difficult to be a happy person, for me, when my job and [most] coworkers bring me so little to be happy about.  When people ask in passing as a superficial question, “how are you?” I don’t lie.  I wish I could say,  “I have never been more happy in my life than I am now.”  But I can’t… why?  What is keeping me from being happy?  Surely other people have been happy despite dissatisfactory jobs and coworkers…  It’s just that I’m at work so much, if only I could be done at 2pm then I would have time for my own life.  I’d have time to build up my happiness meter enough to go back to work the next day.  Maybe that is what it is: I just don’t get enough time off work to build that meter back up to 100%.

After a day of painting

Where does creativity come from?  Inside a person, I think.  Inspiration comes from outside of a person.  So if a generally creative person begins to feel a lack of creativity, that person would turn toward their source of inspiration to refill their feeling of creativeness.

So the first step is to figure out where a person’s inspiration comes from, find that source of inspiration.  And then spend time thinking, questioning, analyzing and figuring out that inspiration.  An ongoing amount of time.

I think even extremely creative people have their tough times, right?  Even the master’s had their sketches, unfinished paintings, even bad paintings.

The key is to keep going.  Start over, if need be, but at least keep moving.

New Computer

A few weeks ago my old computer timed out and I bought a new computer with Vista. The point is that it feels really good to have a working computer that has virus protection and all sorts of spam protection (btw, if you are a spammer and reading this, I know you can hack into my system… but please don’t!). I like that fact that my computer keeps running without me babysitting it (like I had to do with my old one).

That’s all I’ve got today. I’m researching big time for my research paper: 26 days until its due.

An Update and a Rant

Update: I ran the CenturyTel Whistlestop Half-Marathon in Ashland, Wisconsin October 13th! Personally I think the race was the best and most exciting one I’ve ever done and I’m completely interested in doing the full marathon next year. The race follows an old train track (the track has been taken out), hence the title “Whistlestop.” The path is about 8 feet wide and its all dirt until the last mile when it goes through Ashland to end up in-town. It is BEAUTIFUL!

Rant: Social Workers think they are so special, or at least this stupid book I have to read thinks that way. Every single line that says something about what Social Workers do includes the words “unique” or some other similar word used to emphasize how “special” and “cool” Social Work is. I think it sounds like the authors are trying to sell people on becoming Social Workers so they too can be “unique” and “special” and “cool.” Here is an example of a sentence taken directly out of the book called The Social Work Experience: “Social workers, however, have the unique responsibility to advocate for clients” (pg 211). As if no one else EVER advocates for their clients! Grrr! I immensely dislike this class! It’s so ridiculous because the proff is a sniveling idiot who has a cackle-laugh and says random, irrelevant sentences on top of giving impossible exams that everyone gets a C on even though we can use our notes (which, by the way, I copied most of the book and still got a bad grade). Part of our course work–on top of 3 exams, papers and other stupid assignments–includes 20 hours of volunteer work and 10 hours of volunteer group work!! Is she insane?!?! Did she EVER think that this is a 100-level class and, therefore, supposed to have the course load of a 100-level class??????

Ok, I don’t feel better at all, but at least some of my dislike is outside of me now. I hope she somehow reads this. Or, better yet, the authors of the book. Here’s a message for you ladies: Social Work is not the answer because you don’t consider social situations, Sociology does. All you will ever be able to do is come along behind poor people, mentally ill people, lazy people and any other kinds of people and clean up their messes. And, after doing your “unique, special, cool” work, why don’t you write a book about it and try convince other people to clean messes with you too? Oh yeah, that’s what you did.

NorthShore Inline Marathon 2007

This morning I did the NorthShore Inline Marathon (it’s my 7th consecutive year) along with my dad and two sisters, Jelly and Squirt (Jana and Chris). It got below freezing last night and we had camped overnight last night at Jay Cook campground. The Elite California team all got hypothermia and couldn’t finish. hehe I gues Californians aren’t used to the cold up here. It was also windy, which makes blading 26.2 miles extremely hard. I overheard one woman say out of all the marathons, this one was the hardest for her.

I love my family so much and I want things to stay the same all the time: my parents active and my siblings and I being able to be together without other obligations getting in the way. It’s sad to think of how things may change… and I really don’t like thinking about it.

When Things Appear to be Wrong

What frustrates me is when people do things that I can clearly see aren’t healthy for either them self or another person. It is hard for me to be neutral (read: go on as if nothing is wrong) when quite clearly a huge mistake is being made! There are two instances right now where I feel something is wrong… or maybe it’s me that is wrong.

Recipes from Mom

The thing that makes me sad is when another person does something for me, which shows their love or care for me, and I don’t even fully appreciate their thoughtfulness. For example, when I graduated from high school four years ago(!), my mom made me a recipe book. The recipes are printed on special illustrative paper and secured within a dark green three-ring binder and some recipes have been edited after the fact with a pen. One recipe used to be called “Tofu Stir-Fry” but now is called “Tofu Stir-Fry” because Mom learned that Tofu isn’t very healthy. Another recipe calls for Cool Whip (whipped cream) after Mom figured out that whipped cream is more healthy.

Sometime over the past four years Mom went through and edited these recipes for me and I didn’t even really use them until this last year. It makes me feel really sad, as if I didn’t care about her thoughtfulness.

I think I’m just in my nostalgic mind-frame right now… I don’t know why this makes me cry. :-D It’s silly, really. I can’t imagine how I will feel when I’m 25 or 28 or any other age! I never knew that 22 was going to feel so far away from my childhood.